Gay Hockey is Like the Unconditional Love I Get from My Dogs

By Shelly Kennedy

Ok, first of all I am not a comfortable writer or orator for that matter, I prefer working with numbers, formulas and tables rather than letters and words. So the idea of an essay on anything is not particularly an attractive task to perform. And while I have a hard time articulating my thoughts about things that are not rooted in analytics, I have taken the challenge of communicating what Gay Hockey means to me, so bear with me here… I love animals, always have. There has been at least one dog living with me most of my life.

They have been my comfort, humor, constant, friends – never judging, always caring, providing unconditional love and companionship. Sam, Sugar, Koty, Miko, Ailey, Benny, Murphy…. all they ever want(ed) to do is support me, have fun and welcome friends. To me, MGHA is much the same.

When I walk into Hartmeyer on Sundays I witness so many hugs, smiles and “hellos” akin to a tail-wagging dog welcoming & greeting their person.

When I suit up in the locker room, I hear conversations about both struggles and triumphs and am encouraged by the support and empathy I witness, not unlike the unwavering effort of one’s dog to comfort their owner in difficult times or wiggle with excitement in good times.

When I was paired with a new player as a mentor and spent time getting to know them I developed a respect and friendship I know will last, just like what I have (had) with all my dogs.

When we play hockey there is a ‘have fun’ atmosphere, not unlike what a dog encourages when they get the chance.

Gay Hockey in the MGHA is a welcoming, supportive, unconditionally loving community that I am happy and proud to be a part of. It’s like…the unconditional love one gets from their dog. ☺

What Gay Hockey Means to Me

By Andrew “Alpha” Brausen

“Yeah, go Alpha!” is a phrase heard repeatedly on any given Sunday night at Hartmeyer. Why, you may ask? Well, friend, let me tell you a little story.

On a cold, snowy day, December 28th, 1984 a baby was born. The baby, born early, struggled their first few months of life, but the resilience of their soul won out. The day they were born this child was slapped with an “F” for female on their birth certificate, but he was far more special. This child would face much adversity and hardship for the next twenty-plus years of life. He would lose his family, his jobs, and almost life itself before discovering his inner Alpha wolf. This young man took all the courage he had to join a hockey league that promised to be safe, fun and have an encouraging environment. He found this and so much more.

You’re probably wondering what this has to do with why I love gay hockey. The answer is that the young man is me. My name is Andrew Brausen, but you can call me Alpha. Through my time with the MGHA, I have learned many hockey skills; not that I don’t have much further to go. I continue to grow more every year. This is why I joined after all, but I got a whole lot more than I bargained for and it’s one of the reasons why I keep coming back.

One of the things I hadn’t expected was finding a group of not only gays and lesbians or even a group of LGBTQ+ people, but a community of people from all walks of life. Having these people around has opened my eyes to many new things as well as affirming to me that I’m not alone in my thinking. Do you think you could get better than that? It can and it does.

Through this group I found my pack, or to most of you; my family. I also found my voice. With these two things I have found reasons to live and to love myself. I found strength to try new things, not only on the ice, but off it as well. I know that no matter what I do I have got my pack behind me.

I can move mountains, tame rivers, and even find a better me than I did yesterday. I love gay hockey because gay hockey unconditionally loves me for who I am and everything I bring.

I hope to bring even more change for the future so all people feel they are heard. A future that judges you not on the what, but the who. A future that encourages everyone to be the best they can be so all people don’t need a league to feel accepted; they just know they are accepted.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and see what gay hockey means to me. I hope this inspires you to not only join if you are interested, but to follow your dreams, no matter where they take you.

What Gay Hockey Means to Me

By Sarah Bottjen

I can remember the first time I ever took a step on ice. Big fuzzy boots, bundled up ‘til I could hardly see, and all thanks to my ever-loving parents who knew that I would probably freeze to death or crack my skull open without the gear. I was always interested in athletics, and somehow was considered a bit of a cool kid in high school after joining the softball team and then the alpine ski team – strange thinking about it now as I never really knew having a perm until 8th grade was “cool”. Maybe it was my really neat headgear or something. Somehow I made it, but underneath it all there was always a spirit of antagonism on the teams I participated in – we picked on the kids who weren’t as good, who looked weird or didn’t fit whatever the macho/fem ideal that bizarrely exists even when you’re a fricking kid. I hated that. I was always a bit too afraid to really stick up for those kids, though I did try to give them pointers as they went down the hill or as we sat by each other on the chairlift. It was probably my way of feeling better about myself.

In seventh grade playing volleyball we had a coach who was a lesbian. Some of the girls hated her because she was a “butch bitch”, but really they were lazy and didn’t want to run laps or cared about getting better at the sport. They made up some story about the locker room and how they didn’t feel comfortable, and you know the rest. I don’t remember if our coach was fired, or if she just stopped coaching, but the story was of course a fabrication. This was the culture of the small town where I’m from. I didn’t understand my sexuality at the time(and had I surely would have denied it – in reflection I did have a crush on a girl in middle school once and just told myself it was because she looked like a boy or whatever and I liked her Jesus temporary tattoo), and was pretty ambivalent when it came to trying to attract a mate, but I couldn’t believe someone would want to cause harm to another person like that. Some days I feel like the world has made crazy strides forward, and then I see another news article spewing hate speech or ridiculous bathroom laws that showcase nothing but ignorance.

Fast forward to the future, I understand who I am & what I’m looking for a hellova lot better than before, but it probably took until about the year before I joined the MGHA. And I still can be an insecure weirdo. What I love about this league is our pursuit of learning and teaching – I learn from everyone I meet in this league, not just skills on the ice, but about their life stories and the texture that makes them who they are. No one has been dismissive of me, or of others. No one has pre-defined expectations for who you are, what you know, aside from the fact that you should accept others for who they are as well. In my first year, I met and made amazing friends who taught me the sport. In my second year, I realized that in this league, no one is trying to erase any identity, and instead lift you up to be the best player you can be. I was a little afraid that as a bisexual woman, I might be seen differently while in a relationship with a man – even in college I lost friendships because of this. I don’t think it’s even been something anyone has noticed. I’ve realized this year that members of this league support one another in all ways of life, whether it be friends suffering from hard times financially, with family, depression or other.

People don’t seem to shy away from truly being good friends & allies. 🙂 I feel like groups like the MGHA give a sense of belonging, but also a community to fight for. We truly are a family, and one that supports one another through learning, coaching, and the occasional beer on the bleachers. This kind of accepting community doesn’t exist as often as it should in sports, but is something that we are to the core. It is a pivotal part of my experience here in Madison. This is exactly the type of community I would hope my future family and kids can be around, to learn that sports aren’t solely about competition, but also building up others to ensure betterment of the community as a whole.